Tuesday Question – Parents, I Need Your Advice!

It’s Tuesday Question time!  You may have seen MaryBeth and I are expecting our first child this year.  As expected, we’re getting advice out the ying yang and it’s so appreciated!  But we need some advice about something else – our marriage.

What advice do you have for first-time parents to keep their marriage healthy and strong once the kid is here?

Please comment below!

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13 thoughts on “Tuesday Question – Parents, I Need Your Advice!

  1. Agree 1000% with finding time to be with just you and your wife. Valuable thing we learned with our two kiddies:

    1) Learn how to leave the baby with a responsible other (Grandparents usually rock.) Leave the kid, then you leave the house. (And leave the kids out of the conversation when you leave the house. )

    2. Establish routines. Defend them, and stick to them. Our most valuable routine to date: 8pm bedtime. Don’t be the guy who lets the kids stay up as late as they want.

    3. Watch Nanny 911 – you’ll learn so much. (We did. That’s how we learned how important it was to establish the bedtime.)

    Also learn how to let your house be a mess. We try hard to keep things presentable, but man… that doesn’t last much. If there are perfectionist tendencies anywhere…prepare to have that assaulted.

    My Dad told me this: kids are God’s way of teaching you to be selfless. The faster you get good at this, the better the experience of parenthood.

    Yep. :)

    Bonus: Enjoy like crazy. These moments DON’T LAST FOREVER. Dirty diapers and sleepless nights feel like they last forever, but they don’t. ENJOY IT. Later you’ll be glad you did. :)

    My 2cents.

  2. Humor. Lots of humor. Kids turn your world upside down in ways you can’t imagine. Etch out you and mary time, even if you have to lock yourselves in the bathroom for 5 mins.
    Be on the same page, kids smell a break in the system two houses away.
    Let her vent. It doesn’t mean you are terrible, the baby is terrible, it is just venting and no, you don’t have to fix it.
    Laugh when the poop is flying.
    Listen.
    Don’t stay mad long- you are on the same team and you’ll need each other.

    and naps for everyone.. whether one at a time.or together… amazing.

  3. Antoinette Nurse As a parent of a Nineteen year old a step daughter who is seventeen,and my nine year old daughter…all I can say,be honest with your child so when they hear it from someone else they can say ” o I already know this my parents told me that already” never ever tell them a lie. your the only one they really need to trust. there friends will come and go,but you will always be their parents ♥

  4. Here are some comments that I had on my page
    Sue Simonton Dewey My style of parenting is REALLY unconventional. You’ve met my son, and you know what a great person he is, so I’m obviously doing something right. While Patrick’s peers were watching Barney and Teletubbies, he was watching Jerry Springer…. He wanted to watch Jerry Springer! Talk to your kids, don’t talk down to them. Show them the same kind of respect that you show other people. Remember, kids are individuals, too, even if they do share your genetic material. Michelle Kalhorn Watching Barney and Teletubbies is guaranteed to melt a kid’s brain. I’m glad you let Patrick watch Jerry Springer

  5. Before the baby comes confirm you are both truly on the same financial page, and money stress won’t be an issue. They are a little bundles of joy, but they tend to come with some hidden expenses.

    Be very, very patient, with each other, and be extra sweet to MaryBeth when she says she is exhausted. Do all you can to make it easy for her, learn to feed and diaper baby as soon as possible, it will mean a ton to her, and will be key in keeping you guys in sync.

    You might not be able to do the 3-hour candlelit dinners for while, but a mind set here will be critical, even if you only get to spend 10 minutes together, make it ccount.

    With a little one 3 is not a crowd, you may not be able to bungee jump with the baby, there are still lots of things you can do together that involve a baby carrier, if .you are not able to find somebody to watch the baby for you.

    Accept help when offered, and NEVER, ever turn anything done. Be creative, poeple genuinely want to help, it will give you some precious time together.

  6. Pretty much what Rosemary said. Have some time to yourself where you can be adults again just with each other. It’s not as big of a deal when your kid is little, but if you have multiple kids – and as they grow – it seems to be more of an issue.
    Also, be careful that you don’t start treating each other like kids. I know it sounds silly, but it sometimes happens. You get so into correcting little ones that you forget the other person is a peer.

  7. Make it a point to make alone time for eachother each week. Go out on dates – even if it is just to Starbucks for a coffee.

    When you go out, go WITHOUT the baby. I know it will be hard to do, but I promise grandma and grandpa got you to adulthood, they can take care of their grandchild for an hour or two.

    You need time ALONE with the two of you (other than baby’s nap time). Makes sure you make the time to keep your relationship fresh!

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